ShinRa Corp. Events & Catering Smoked Turkey Cranberry Cheeseball

One of the special hors d'oeuvres popular at ShinRa Holiday parties, it is probably better when not served with intense hobnobbing. Along with a glass of wine, it was the only thing Rufus would ever eat at the many black-tie affairs.

Really, knowing what ShinRa does to the ocean, would you eat anything off the raw bar?

* 1 pkg neufchatel or cream cheese, softened
* smoked turkey
* 1/2 cup sweet dried cranberries
* 1 cup chopped pecans, separated

Chop turkey in blender or food processor until you have 2 loose cups of finely chopped turkey. Coarsely chop the dried cranberries and 1/2 of the pecans in the blender and add to the turkey. Blend with the neufchatel or cream cheese until well mixed, shape into a ball. Roll the ball in the remaining pecans and chill 1/2 hour before serving. Serve with whole wheat cocktail crackers or water crackers.

Plot corporate takeover. Seduce your bodyguard.

Tseng's New Year's Skewered Sweet Dumplings (kushi dango)

While not what most Midgar residents would call a Christmas foodstuff, this is de rigueur at any festive winter event in Wutai, popular especially during the water-dragon parade at New Year's. Tseng learned the how of making them during his young teenage years serving tea at the Turtle to earn money to get him to Midgar. Since not everybody has a bamboo steamer (though they really are damn handy), there are two alternative methods of preparation here, and they taste pretty much the same. If using the boiling method, make sure to eat them in one day, because refrigeration makes them mealy.

For the dumplings:
* 1 cup rice flour (Mochiko comes in a white box with a blue star, and is super cheap, most large supermarkets have it in the international aisle)
* 1/2 cup warm water

For the sweet sauce:
* 1 cup water
* 1/2 cup sugar
* 2 tbs shoyu (Japanese soy sauce, don't use La Choy or american soy sauce, it is way too strong)
* 1 1/2 tbs cornstarch
* 1 1/2 tbs water

Prepare dumplings:
Slowly combine water and rice flour. Blend until you have a sticky dough that isn't too soft and will hold a shape. Roll the dough into balls about one inch across. (Once you get a layer of dough on your fingers it won't stick so much. If it is way too sticky, add a small amount of rice flour.)

To steam:
Place the dumplings on squares of waxed paper and steam in a bamboo steamer over rapidly boiling water for 15 minutes.

To boil:
Boil a large pot of water (you can start it while preparing the dumplings). When the water is boiling, carefully lower the dumplings in with a slotted spoon. Boil them until they all float, and then continue to boil them for one minute. You can test one by cutting it in half, it should be soft and chewy all the way through and slightly off-white. Strain.

Cool slightly on a plate until dumplings can be handled. Skewer dumplings on bamboo skewers, 3-4 each (or one on each toothpick for fancy finger food.)

Prepare sauce:
Combine water, soy sauce, and sugar in a saucepan over medium heat. In a small bowl mix cornstarch and water, set aside. When the soy/sugar mixture boils, add the cornstarch mixture and stir constantly until the sauce thickens. Brush the sauce over the dumplings and serve.

You can also smear the dumplings with smooth sweet red bean paste.

Play with your New Year's Doll while you wait for the parade, and try to catch the most sweet sesame candies from the dragon dancers. Tell that snot-nosed Yuffie brat from next door that you don't care who her daddy is, she can't have any of yours.

Elena's Cranberry Sauce

A self-proclaimed kitchen disaster, Elena is not likely to be whipping up Belgian Endive with French Aioli anytime soon, and neither are most of us. If you want something to bring to the pot luck down at the firing range, try this.

While there is a lot to be said for making hard stuff look easy, there's also a lot going for the opposite. Anybody can open a can and slice along those handy grooves, but nothing says "I slaved for hours" like whole cranberry sauce. Don't tell them that it takes all of five minutes. It's not like they've ever tried making the stuff.

* 1 cup sugar
* 1 cup water
* 1 bag [2 cups] fresh or frozen cranberries (if using frozen do not thaw, as it will make them mushy. just cook 'em frozen the same as fresh.)

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to boiling over medium heat. Boil, stir occasionally, 3-5 minutes or until cranberry skins pop and sauce has thickened. Serve warm or chilled with beef, pork, or poultry. Accept compliments graciously.

Reno's Hot Buttered Rum

While most of Reno's holiday punches involve brass knuckles, this is standard fare at the ShinRa Mansion for fending off both natural and unnatural drafts. Rufus will have his by the fire with Tseng and the hounds, but Angelo will have his down in the lab with hot tea instead of the rum and boiling water. Reno has his with perhaps a little more rum than strictly called for. But as he will tell you, there is no better house for delerium tremens than Hojo's old Nibelheim digs. Christmas is prime ghosting time, after all.

* 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
* 1/2 cup butter or margarine
* 1/4 tsp finely shredded lemon peel
* tsp ground cinnamon
* 1/4 tsp ground allspice
* rum
* boiling water

In a small mixing bowl combine brown sugar, butter, lemon peel, and spices. Beat until well combined. Use immediately or chill, covered, for up to 1 month. To serve, place one rounded tablespoon in a mug. Add 3 tablespoons rum and 1/2 cup boiling water, stir well.

Look for a good fire and better company, it's cold out there.

Reeve's Cheese Stuff

If you happen to have relatives who send you large blocks of Wisconsin real estate for Christmas, or if you somehow wind up with the leftover cheese trays from the company get-togethers, this is a great remedy for the odds 'n' ends. You might even find yourself going out and buying cheese to make it. A balance of mild and sharp cheeses is best, but really, anything goes.

In a blender combine:
* leftover cheese bits, any and all sorts
* 1/2 c. melted butter
(and if desired)
* chopped minced onions
* dry mustard
* parsley
* chives
* curry powder
* and/or anything else that looks good

Blend until smooth. Spread over rye bread and toast under the broiler, add to mashed potatoes, spread on crackers. Good for snacking on one-handed while working on animatronic cat blueprints, or smeared on green apples when breaking out those new shiny Christmas video games. It's always good and never quite the same twice. If it hardens up in the fridge, a few seconds in the microwave will make it nice and spreadable.

Any comments about the secretary of Urban Development also being spreadable may be directed to Ms. Elena LeBeau, who will personally investigate such claims.

Rude's Rookie Cookies

Technically "Rookie Cookies" were Rude's nickname for the homemade cookies Ma Montague would send to Reno every Christmas. Reno, who never had the heart to tell his mother exactly what he thought about oatmeal cookies, much less six dozen of them, would usually pass them on to his partner. Being unusually canny, Mrs. Montague eventually wound up simply sending the cookies to Rude personally, where they were more than welcome and vanished quickly, especially on snowy late-night shifts and stakeouts.

* 4 cups regular rolled oats
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 2 cups packed brown sugar
* 1 cup melted butter or margarine
* 2 cups self-rising flour
* 1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
* 1/2 cup raisins, golden sultanas, or dried cranberries
* 1/2 cup water

Preheat oven to 350.

Combine all ingredients (dry first, then wet. Use less water if needed). Drop by large rounded tablespoons 2" apart on greased cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Creatively hide enough of them to send off to friends and relatives, as any left sitting to cool will find themselves carried off by mysterious forces*, never to be heard from again.

*answering to Phoenix and Diego